I mean really, truly LOVES a woman? They tend to lose their damn mind. They definitely lose control of the rational side. All in an effort to make sure that he never loses that woman.
But they don’t realize that sometimes that shit can be misinterpreted. I’d say 75% of the time it’s harmless. He’s acting up because he doesn’t want to lose you. But all the wild accusations and screaming and yelling and cussing comes off as straight up jealousy.
And I’m a grown woman dawg. I don’t play those “Make my man jealous” games. I don’t have time for that bullshit. But sometimes man…
I ADORE Krazo. God couldn’t have done me a bigger solid. & praise God I have enough common sense to realize what I have. But the realization is not enough. So I try my best to show it. I tell him everyday how much I love him. I hug him and kiss him and tell him how lucky I am to have him in my life. I try my best to get him anything he asks for. I don’t run the streets with my friends. Gave up volleyball just so I could spend more time with him, so I just go to work, come home and see him. I got all my ex’s to stop calling me. I stopped posting in HD… on GS. I put up with the preemptive judgments from his family and made a conscious effort to “fit in” with them. It still feels like its not enough.
Because I’m still human I guess. I haven’t learned how to isolate myself from people 100%. I haven’t learned how to restrict my… for lack of a better and less suggestive word… desire, to interact with people. Well I should just say guys, because I don’t get along with girls 99.9% of the time. So I still do. But the context is completely different than it was 3 years ago.
I fucked up with Troy. & I completely owned up to that. But I guess he doesn’t think that I learned from that.
I have no intention of hurting this man… so anyone I’ve never met, I deleted from my cellphone. I cut down my XBL Friends to 16 people. & I’m probably gonna cut down my text messaging plan to something like 200 a month.
He wants a hermit? He’ll get one.
All this worry is making me sick to the point where I had to call out from work. I can’t win.
But I’m not gonn give up on us boobie. I hope you don’t either.
Peace & Blessings.
